#Throwback One Year Ago Today…
I can’t believe that was a year ago. My relationship with him feels like a lifetime away now - before I got super sick and met Someone New. Isn’t it funny how much can change in just twelve months?
View ArticleMy Last Day.
What the fuck is the universe’s problem right now? Why is it making it so much harder to get over this guy? Why, every time I think I’m finally getting somewhere, does he pop right back into my head?...
View ArticleJust a Few Things I Wanted to Say.
And I’m so scared. I wish you were there to hold my hand. In fact, I wish you’d been there to hold my hand through a lot of what I’ve been through over the last few months. But you weren’t. I’ll get...
View ArticleI’m a Relationship-Masochist.
Just ignore me. I’m having a little moment to myself. Guess what, it’s Jock related again. He’s not even in my life and he’s still haunting me. Pffft. My Bestie updated my Papa’s sat-nav and he needed...
View ArticleAnniversaries.
I’m pretty sure today would have been the anniversary of Jock and I. The anniversary of when we first met on POF. The day I broke up with One Ball, and met the new love of my life, all on the same day....
View ArticleIt’s Not A Good Morning
I love him. And I’m starting to wonder if this heartache will ever go away. Because right now, as pissed off and sad as he made me sometimes, it still wasn’t halfway near as bad as the pain I feel when...
View ArticleI Need Closure if Nothing Else
I walked over to my desk, cup of tea in hand, flipped open my Mac, and typed in my password. Giving the laptop a moment to wake up, I grabbed my iPhone, unlocking it, going through the applications...
View ArticleI Guess We’ll See What Happens…
I stalked Jock in the middle of the night and I learned something new. Did I mention I had unblocked him? Well, I did. And no, I don’t regret doing it. He’s added a few new friends recently, and...
View ArticleDreams…
9/10/2015: Operation Blog Catch-Up I had a dream about Jock last night. We had a baby. We were in the hospital and he was sat on the side of my bed and he had a baby in his arms – our baby. I couldn’t...
View ArticleI’ve Got To Let You Go
10/10/2015: Operation Blog Catch-Up Dear Jock, I’ve got to let you go. I really do. And before you ask it’s not because of The Director. Well, maybe it is a little bit but it’s more because of myself....
View ArticleHappy Birthday
It’s Jock’s Birthday I don’t know why I felt the need to tell you that but I’m pretty sure it’s his birthday. I don’t remember many birthdays. I’m trying to remember how old he would be but I never...
View ArticleProject: Love Thyself – How To Fall In Love With Yourself
It’s hard work trying to fall in love with yourself when all your life you’ve had people continually tell you and make you feel as if you just weren’t good enough. I was never good enough for The...
View ArticleHeart: Broken.
When I think that life can’t kick my butt any more than it has done, it goes and deals me another blow. Not content with the hellish year of 2015, apparently 2016 is gonna be a bumpy one too. Jock is...
View ArticleHow’s That For Closure?
Dear Jock, I found out you were engaged last night. My friend signed in to her hubby’s Facebook and stalked you. I don’t know why she did that or why she told me but I really wish she hadn’t. I have...
View ArticleI’m Trying.
I’m trying to be strong but sometimes I can’t help but think about it, about him. I’m keeping busy. I’m not letting my mind have the space or time to think about what I learned, or the photo I saw when...
View ArticleOh The Irony!
Written on Thursday 28th April: We’re in the car on the way home and his music is playing loudly. Some bassy R&B number, probably Usher or someone else I’d usually have no interest in. The lyrics...
View ArticleSend Help.
Sometimes you literally couldn’t write the drama that goes on in my life. Eastenders has FUCK ALL on me, let me tell you. I shall start by filling you in on all the facts… We had that Simon did /...
View ArticleI’ve Had The Last Laugh.
So … I did it. I responded to *that* Facebook message that had slowly driven me nuts for two days. I couldn’t just let it go, of course I couldn’t. This was my chance to make up for the regret I felt...
View ArticleI Win: A Letter To My Future Self
Because I Can’t Write a Novel – Day 16: I Win I’m probably not going to post this up on the blog right away which I know sounds ridiculous but I’m writing myself a letter for the future. I’m going to...
View Article“Summer 2014”
Hi, hello, hey. How are you doing? I went through my old Dropbox account today and I had to delete a whole bunch of photos because I was going to lose them anyway if I didn’t upgrade my account. I went...
View ArticleOne Night With My Ex …
In case you hadn’t guessed from the title, I’ve been watching One Night With My Ex. In fact, I’m watching it right now. I’m cringing and laughing and wondering … could I sit through one night with my...
View ArticleThe Summer Reminds Me of Him…
I was sat in front of my window, sun beaming in on me, blue skies ahead, writing away… Something struck me – as I gazed out the window, lost in my own little world, my mind had drifted to that day Jock...
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